Gumi Clean Freak-On Altruism

I stumbled across this video the other day and I find it truly agreeable.

On Altruism
Just like what my friend and I were discussing the other day, I do believe that there is very little room for the existence of altruism. By definition, it is the unselfish regard for or devotion to the welfare of others. Now, taking into account the concept of Causality, every act therefore corresponds to an effect. It is unacceptable to say that one is doing something “for no reason” or ” purely out of selflessness and righteousness”. By saying so, the person’s ability for reasoning becomes questionable (note Descartes’ Cogito ergo sum). Considering all these, I do believe that we do things not necessarily because it is what is considered as right (note that rightness is also subjective). It is quite evident that our actions can easily be traced back to personal interests.

For example, I would converse with a friend (cause) and in turn he shares his thoughts. Even though the situation seems quite indifferent, and I’m probably unable to realize it immediately, I was actually expecting to benefit from her thoughts (whether I agree to them or not) by starting the conversation in the first place.

By saying this, one can infer that we are all just acting based on our personal interests. However, I do believe that what matters most is how the act is reciprocated. For example, going back to the example I’ve given, I can share more of my thoughts to her (which also has the possibility of being beneficial for her) and do this in order to once again open up the possibility of her sharing more of her thoughts which I might also benefit from. Thus, it becomes a cycle of overlapping personal intentions. Some other examples are helping out a friend and in turn achieving happiness and self-fulfillment; and doing favors to achieve recognition and acceptance.

By saying so, altruism indeed seems to be simply another hypocrisy. However, what delineates the justification of all these actions are the means. I give something in return for what I have gained, and I gain something because I gave something in return for it. This reminds me once again of the Golden Rule “Do not do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.” Other factors like claiming that one is acting based on altruism or perhaps the benefits of the action on both the sender and receiver is unbalanced (e.g. exploitation) can affect the morality (which is also subjective) of an action.

Thus, I would infer that Altruism can only exist in a dimension devoid of the concept of Causality. In such a dimension, your actions won’t produce any effects so therefore, self-interest is cancelled. Thus, actions based purely on altruism will be possible.

Now, of course I won’t say that I wrote this down out of sheer altruism. I’m quite aware that I’m doing this in order to open up the possibility of benefiting and learning from your thoughts as well. Now, don’t you think by responding to this, you are also opening up possibilities of benefiting from me too?

STUBBORN

Her embrace gave the sweetest burns

all over my frozen, scrawny body.

I blanket my eyes with ignorance,

But her stare ripped through my eyelids.

She held out her white hands.

I yearn to feel their warmth again.

But a sharp bittersweet pain stung me

And its ecstasy lured me back.

And so the fool is once again

Trapped in the cage he built.

The hypocrite remains

A puppet in his own demented world.

Pathetic

I can’t help but wonder. Have I really been happy? I’ve always thought that helping others achieve their own happiness will help me find mine. I’ve always been that kind of person who seems to enjoy helping out whoever’s in need, perhaps even to the point of giving up my own. However, I’m pretty aware that I haven’t found mine. Each time I would help out someone, maybe a friend of mine or maybe a stranger, I can’t help but feel envious of them afterwards. I mean, how do they know what makes them really happy? How come they’re so sure that they are indeed happy and that I’ve helped them find theirs? I know it seems greedy of me to ask but I really wish that each time I help someone out, I also experience at least a nib of the happiness they claim to have. Each laugh I try to purge out is always an attempt, and often in vain, to have a share of that bliss. Perhaps I simply cannot afford to be happy, or at least find its full realization in my life because it’ll always be at the expense of others. Nevertheless, I still believe in sharing what I have in pursuing the greater good even if I often lose the fruits I reap.

Dread

I saw a sullen pile of flesh

standing behind blunt ice.

Its washed-out eyes were buried

within the skin that I detested.

The creature made a putrid smile

As its nails began ripping my neck.

I tried sewing back the patches

but it was all in vain.

Anguish began choking me.

A dry voice drifted in my ear.

I shook and held my breath.

“Give up. I am you.”

The Covenant

I remember the day I traded my humanity

for a bite of the apple you hold.

It tasted like a bittersweet flame

which engulfed my soul until I grew cold.

Now, the ecstasy of the apple is gone.

My eyes began radiating its own luminescence.

I rose from my grave and wafted back home

to finally justify my existence.

I brought back Prometheus’ fire

to the world I believed I held dearly.

But as the gates I forged begin to rust,

a ruthless void begins consume me.

I may have forgotten how sugar tastes like,

and gray is the only color I can still see.

But I can stomach such fragrant drought,

if I’d be able to remain free.

Or am I really free?

Ambivalence

You pricked your finger again
but no blood escapes your skin.
You must catch the threads
before they begin unraveling.


The knots you’ve tied to your fingers
which you held so dearly for days
Turned into dewy spiderwebs
in a calm, moonlit night.


The smell of the reaper’s blade is back
and it’s searing your soul.
You pricked your finger once again
so that you will be forced to let go.


The pain made you remember that
sooner or later these strings would decay.
You’ll be left alone once again,
Making knots to cut and healing hands to prick.

Dead End

We are souls clad in similar bodies;
We are branches of the same tree.
Amidst this pile of futile eyeballs that drowned us,
We grew up, wrapped in each other’s arms.


But we were incapable of bearing fruit.
We are of no use to the reaper.
I fear that soon we’ll be uprooted and damned.
Is this what you really want?


However, if we were thoroughly useless,
why are we still here?
Wouldn’t it be easier if the reaper
Had severed our roots a long time ago?


Then again, isn’t our love most selfless of all?
We yield nothing and yet we thrived.
Is this why we haven’t perished yet?
But can our love alone suffice our very existence?